Adoption

I won't go into great detail here, but even though we had the Gestational Agreement, required by TX to allow the hospital to put Jeff & I on the birth certificate as the legal and biological parents - which we are... the hospital refused to honor our document. They cited a couple of different reasons and suffice it to say that the nurse/risk manager - who I won't publicly flog here - was condescending, rude, abrasive, and honestly ABUSIVE to Jaime and myself during a very intense part of labor... saying these horrible things to Jaime like: "you WILL hold that baby" and "we will not band anyone else" and "You WILL wear the baby band" and on and on, all while pointing her finger in Jaime's direction. BAD SITUATION! Anyway, we consulted our attorney while in the hospital and instead of running to the court in an emergency situation (like during labor!), we thought the best course of action would be to go the old fashioned adoption route. The stuff with the hospital got worse before it got better... Jaime completed all the birth certificate information (with herself as the "legal" mother and Jeff as the father), he even completed the paternity paperwork required in TX... all to find out that they submitted the birth certificate information to the state without Jeff's info... hello? Can anyone say ILLEGAL??? They just refused to name a father and that could have been costly to the state... what if Jaime went home and applied for Medicaid or AFDC or WIC... who would the state of TX go after for money??? NO ONE! STUPID! Anyway, we did meet with our family law attorney the next week and started the adoption process. Like poor Jackson won't have a story enough that his dad's sister was the pregnant one and all the fun we can poke at that, but now he will be able to say he is adopted... and wait until he tells his friends someday that his biological parents adopted him because his aunt was pregnant with his daddy's baby and the hospital was too conservative to understand the dynamics... Laughing. Anyway, welcome to the world of adoption in TX! We filed a petition with the court and have been assigned a judge. There is a six month waiting process... we had to take Jaime to a notary and get two witnesses (people we didn't know) so she could "sign away her rights" to our child. She had eleven days after signing that document to rescind it and take custody of the child that was hers according tot he birth certificate, but not hers at all! Seriously! Then, we had to submit a detailed financial statement to the court...really! Every financial obligation income and all the outgoing... that was a little unnerving! We also had to complete detailed personal history sheets: family history, medical, surgical, psychological history... Jeff commented that ANY person can have a child, but those who are unable to have them on their own are penalized and put through a horrific process just to prove that they will be fit parents. We got to pay more fees to the court and we get to be investigated... Jeff and I had to submit fingerprints to the court for background checks and on Monday an investigator from the court is coming to see our home and interview us... the golden question for me is: what if they think I am unfit to raise my own biological child, then what? I am sure it will not come to that, but geesh! So, that is all I know so far and you are caught up on the adoption drama! I have been reluctant to write about it because it is so emotionally charged for me and I still have so much resentment for the hospital. I am working through that and I know that I will find the silver lining and there is a gift coming from this process. Jeff has already identified a tax credit for adoptive parents, so next year is looking pretty good, laughing! So, we need prayers for Monday as this sweet sounding lady will beckon our doorstep by 830 in the morning... to meet us and size us up! WOW! Shouldn't teen mothers or at the very least mothers of octuplets in CA with six other children at home facing foreclosure be submitted to the rigors of these requirements to make sure they are fit, as opposed to someone like us... who have proof that awesome children come from our home and parenting skills? I think I would've been more understanding of the court making judgements the first time around, when I was 17, unmarried and pregnant... I have certainly grown. I send prayers and support out to adoptive parents all over the world... it is a costly, lengthy process, with no guarantees... and top that with finding healthy babies available in the United States... well, I will pray for them that they find a way through the process and their families are made "whole" in some way through their journey to adopt. I will keep you updated as we go through more.... xoxo