morning naps

This is the second morning in a row of morning nap in the SWING! Yes, the swing! After 10 weeks of life, my son will finally tolerate the swing for about 5-10 minutes after his morning bottle, which is just long enough for him to fall asleep in it! YAY! Ok, seriously... this is a blessing. Not only do I get to have breakfast now, but I can BLOG, read email, clean the kitchen, and all kinds of great routine-like morning activities that I have been missing. This is simply amazing and demonstrative of perseverance... I didn't give up and FINALLY I have succeeded and he (somewhat) tolerates and may even be secretly enjoying his swing! SShhhh, don't tell him. The photo above shows play time on the activity center on the floor... he loves being on his tummy, but it is so hard to get cute photos of him laying that way. He really is "talking" and babbling a lot lately and the intense amounts of drool have started... which leads me to believe w may be getting closer to teething... that is hard to believe because my other two kids were so late on teeth, but everyone is different. I am really looking forward to next week: Jeff's sister, Kellie, and her two boys will be here for the whole week, Leah & Alex are going to visit us from Utah (YAY), and Easter is around the corner... I get to start baking the homemade wheat bread (recipe courtesy of Auntie Di in Cali)... and the Galumpkies (stuffed cabbage rolls) in tomato sauce, too because we can freeze and thaw later.... I love me some Polish Easter and it is coming! Spring is here... and every change of the seasons makes me miss Jacque... but feeling more peace as we approach the three year mark (which we will be remembering in Yosemite in July this year for her Angel Day)! So much to do before then....

Busy Week

We have spent the last week between the hospital and the rehab center because Jeff's Dad had taken a fall two weeks ago Monday. To describe the level of exhaustion, there just aren't enough words that describe that kind of tired. I have to tell you, there was a lot to worry about for a while and I know it was taking its toll on my physically and emotionally. I am grateful Jeff's brother Josh came out to help... I don't know what I would've done without him! Seriously, taking care of my new baby as a single mom while Jeff is in OK working and then having Dad be so sick and disabled... I was beside myself. It isn't my story to tell, but I will share that my worries were compounded each day with hallucinations, collapsing lungs from immobility, intense unbelievable pain, weakness to the point of being unable to stand without assistance, and bowel issues... My prayers were "can't something go right?" Eventually dad did improve enough to go to the rehab hospital and they are treating him well there... he is actually improving and working with speech, physical and occupational therapy every day... he will get t come home in no time and we will be so happy for that! In between all of that, Jeff's back "went out" and he spent a week going to the chiropractor and taking darvocet just to get out of bed... then the next weekend, Jake's back "went out" from too much strain on his mission trip to Jamaica... seriously, what is with the competition between the Endresen men! Jackson and I haven't made it to our beds before 11pm each night and I am totally afraid he has completely changed his schedule: for instance it is 840 am and the little guys is still sleeping... its like having a teenager already!

On a lighter note, I am decorated for Easter now. YAHOO! It took me forever to get that stuff up, mainly because I haven't been home. Glad it is now... we even put some time on the schedule to start the cooking next weekend... YAY! I am so excited for that. Even though I am not Polish by heritage, it is one of my favorite traditions that I married into. Just to clarify, no Jeff isn't Polish either, but he has awesome extended family that is and we just LOVE being together as a family, celebrating the day: egg hunts, skits, fattening food with tons of sour cream, homemade bread, stories and laughter and kids and it is just so fun to celebrate and honor our risen Lord with a family party! We have grown to love sharing in this tradition and it will be our third year hosting... we do it in Jacque's memory. She loved a god Polish Easter and we are blessed to continue in the tradition that Jacque and Uncle Du LOVED!

I am ready for some happier times... starting TODAY!!! The photo above is a bath during jack jack attack time and he is staring me down! It was hysterical. He did not want to get out... this boy loves being naked and in water! Can't wait for summer!

Jackson 2 month Check-Up

On Friday, March 20 we visited the pediatrician for our immunizations and two month well check... of course that meant one oral dose and three injections in those fat little legs... super sad. Needless to say, the photo was taken after Jackson was weighed and measured: weighing in at a whoppin' 12.6 pounds and a whole 22 1/2 inches long.... Jake was that long AT BIRTH! Anyway, he was so much fun to take to the doctor... such a good boy! It was Jeff's first experience at the pediatrician for immunizations... he was doing to "peepee" dance in the corner while Jackson screamed at the shots... Jeff was traumatized and stressed out to the max!!! I just held his hand, the pro that I am on my third kid. It was sad, sure - but totally necessary. I am pro-immunizations and support the eradication of avoidable diseases. We are just totally enjoying our little dude. Who could resist kissing those cheeks!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2009

Erin Go Bragh! Ireland Forever! This is a day, whether or not you really have

Irish heritage, you feel connected to the small British Isle by the color green and corned beef. This year we were out of all the traditions. Jake is out of the country, serving on a Christian mission in Jamaica... they are repairing a school, lots of manual work as well as providing them a resource library and computer lab. The kids of Jamaica will love them for this, for sure. An added benefit for Jake is that his girlfriend Hannah and friend Shelby also are in tow for an awesome working and learning experience. Jeff was supposed to be in OK, but has injured his back in some way, its really tough getting old. The doctor he saw Monday took xrays and stated that his back is probably related to his old knee injury from basketball, his pelvis is tilted and off by about 10 mm from the right to the left. He is home recuperating and taking lots of medications. He is seeing the chiropractor daily for the muscle spasms and it is helping. Mom & Dad were going to go to FL to visit their best friends, but Dad fell and not only does he have a couple of compression fractures, but he is in some severe pain... it ruined his trip out of town and now they are home... Mom is doing a great job of taking care of him for sure. So, I was planning on being ALONE for one of my favorite holidays... and really my favorite GREEN holiday... so no Irish food for the first time in our entire marriage. And everyone ended up here and I wasn't alone... so no Irish soda bread, no corned beef & cabbage slow cooked in nut brown ale, no new potatoes loaded with butter and sour cream... no wake cake... I have failed my Irish American self... by eating chicken and wearing blue today! OH Well!

Jackson turns 8 weeks old tomorrow... can't wait for his doctor appointment Friday to see all the measurements and how much he has grown. He is getting big... and gosh, he is a lot of fun!

Dear Jaime

Dear Jaime,
I know I am about to say that there are no words that really describe the true depth and emotion of my feelings about this journey we have taken together, that the words I will give you only touch the surface of my love and gratitude. You are one of the most giving and generous people I have ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. I am in awe and constantly amazed when I look at my miracle son, how you could make such a huge sacrifice of your body, your time, your heart, your life, for Jeff & I to be blessed with such a darling little baby.

I honestly feel that the ability to do the surrogacy is a gift from God, a discovered talent. It takes a very special woman to be able to go the journey and provide the greatest gift: life. You, my darling sister, have been given that gift. Watching your pregnancy and sharing in the special events and moments made the last year so magical and pleasurable. What a real blessing you are in our lives.

Who would’ve guessed that six year old darling little girl I met when I was marrying your brother, with the longest hair ever, would grow up to be one of my best friends, not only my sister in marriage, but in love. My memories of you are long and go deep: cornrows in your hair, first boyfriends, first girl friends, changes and growing up… it is a journey I will always be grateful to God for. I recall the day you came to me with this fabulous idea… I remember the suffering through the shots and medication, especially the suppositories, YUK! The things you had to experience to get pregnant and stay that way! Oh MY! What a trooper you are.
Being in the delivery room and watching your struggle with labor and the amazing and miraculous birth of our son is something that will stay burned in my memory forever. Your ability to have a child is something that I am in awe of. You are truly amazing! You did a fabulous job and Jackson is just perfect. This reflection on my gratitude is just the tip of the surface! I love to watch you with him, snuggling and loving on your nephew that, without you, would not be a reality. That is so powerful and I am filled with such pride and love when I watch you kiss my son!

I know you have received other thank you’s, from me as well as other family and friends… but I promise you no one has more thankfulness, gratitude, and love for you and what you have given our family: another chance at love. Babies and children, in general, fill the world with such profound joys. For us, knowing the depths of sadness and Hell with the loss of a child, we appreciate the sweetness and fragility of this human life entrusted to us. I know that this journey included Jacque in so many ways and it still does. For you and I will always share that magical bond of ushering in Jackson’s sweet spirit in his sister’s memory.

Tears sting my eyes as I write this: Thank you… thank you for Jackson, for your love, for your amazing spirit, thank you for your passion, thank you for your uniqueness… I just love you Jaime (even before all this). You are my hero… I don’t use that word lightly, really you are my HERO! I love you (MORE) and thank you (again) from my whole heart.
Xoxo Jen (Jeff, Jake & Jackson, too)

7 weeks today

We have swing success for the first time this morning! Jackson woke up at 7am, played in bed with me until 8am, then we did some floor time for about 20 minutes... and then I thought - let's try that archenemy the SWING again... and YES! He was awake and "enjoying" it for about 15 minutes before he dozed off and he is still in it! You wonder how I know he is enjoying it... no scowl on his face... just that peaceful look! YAY! He is porking up a bit, gaining weight like crazy. He is such a good baby... last night we only had 5 minutes of Jack Jack Attack time.... Jeff says that doesn't even qualify! I agree! We did spend some time in the Bjorn carrier while I vacuumed and did dishes and picked up the house... he really seemed to enjoy that. I finally get to blog and well, he is waking up now. But, still I am so very excited for the small amount of time we got in the swing this morning! YAY!

Jackson is 6 weeks Today

Photos of Jeff playing with Jackson after work... he loves the kissing game and opening his mouth for the echo of kisses into his head! We had a great time playing last night an went over to the Richardson's home here in Bartlesville (Steve used to work for Jeff in San Diego, when Jeff and I lived in CA)... Steve and Jeannie are great friends and they had us over for a totally yummy dinner - homemade pasta and homemade bread... YUM! The best part was having extra hands during dinner and what Jeff has now dubbed Jack Jack Attack time.... and if you haven't seen the Incredibles you will be missing the hysteria in the nickname... Yes, I totally look like Kari the babysitter at the end of the tow hour colic session.... and in the ending of the Incredibles, when Jack Jack is fighting the bad guy and rapidly changes from lead to fire to devil to oh my! That is so indicative of how colic i working for our little man. Jeff says last night was the best and easiest so far... I think many hands make light work and Steve & Jeannie are very experienced grandparents and parents... so fussy time was really nothing for them, so they said! It looked easy enough while Jeannie paced the room with Jackson and I ate a very warm meal for the first time in I can't remember.... LOL! Almost all parents of newborns and colicky babies can relate, I am sure!